Goals for Marriage

Sat, 28 Dec 1996

Clergy/Leaders' Mail-list No. 342 GOALS FOR MARRIAGE by Norman Bales Recently Ann and I sat down to discuss goals for our marriage. Our next anniversary will be our thirty-seventh, so why are we talking about goals at this point in our relationship? For one thing, we have already realized many of our goals. We have successfully raised four children to adulthood. Three of them have college degrees. All four have good jobs. We have achieved many of our long term goals, so, it's time to refocus. Some people might say, "You've completed your primary task. Why not just coast for awhile?" There are several reason why we don't want to coast. For one thing, much of the happiness we have known in our family has occurred during the process of struggling to reach our goals. It's also clear to me that when I stop pursuing goals, I become emotionally lazy. If I'm not investing time and energy to reach some kind of worthwhile objective, I'm no longer interested in making a difference in the lives of people. I end up going with the flow of events and circumstances. Instead of being a positive influence on others, I become vulnerable to the persuasion of those who may not always have honorable intentions. Worst of all, relationships suffer and the one that suffers most is the relationship with my spouse. But are there any new mountains to climb after thirty-seven years of marriage? Ann and I know one another so well that we can sometimes anticipate the thoughts and desires of each other. She's a fairly good mind reader. At breakfast time, she knows when I want a second piece of toast before I even ask for it. When you know one another that well, it's easy to take each other for granted. The first thing you know, words of appreciation, expressions of kindness and gestures of romance become a thing of the past. Nothing jars me out of my emotional laziness any quicker than hearing the lyrics of an old Barbara Streisand song, "You don't bring me flowers, anymore." So we sat down and had a long talk about future goals, dreams and plans. Is there still life for a marriage after 37 years? You bet. We've got so many things cooking, we probably won't live long enough to realize all our dreams. But that's all right. We've got a target to aim for. I'm reminded of something the apostle Paul said about his relationship to the Lord. He decided to forget what is behind and focus his concern on what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13). That also works in a marriage, no matter how many years you've been at it. (From All about Families, edited by Norman Bales) Minden Church of Christ mcoc@mindchurch.org E-mail: nlbales@prysm.net Web: http://www.mindchurch.org/family ____________________________ Clergy/Leaders' Mailing List (Moderated) This mailing list is open to all Christians via Internet e-mail and most fax destinations. Submissions welcome: clergy@pastornet.net.au To unsubscribe, e-mail to: clergy-request@pastornet.net.au with SUBJECT reading UNSUBSCRIBE Copyright: Postings may be re-sent ONLY with all copyright notifications intact. A PastorNET ministry: manager@pastornet.net.au

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