MARJORIE
GRANDPA  the Narrator
TATTERS
ISABELLA WHAT-A-HAG  Ugly Stepmother
BRUCE  Ugly Stepsister
RALPH  Ugly Stepsister
FAIRY GODPERSON
PRINCE CHUNDER

MARJORIE (Enters upset - throws herself at Grandpa's feet)  Boo hoo, boo hoo.

NARRATOR (seated in armchair with paper, relaxing)  Now, now Marjorie - what seems to be the problem here?

MARJORIE Oh, Grandpa, it's horrible.  Everyone is going to Johnny Spottybottom's party this afternoon and I'm not invited.  They all teased me and told me I was too stupid and boring to come.  I'm just no fun - I'm useless.

NARRATOR Useless!  You're not useless, my little Marjorie.  I see I shall have to tell you of a story I heard a long time ago - I was just about your age, too.

MARJORIE A story, Grandpa.  Oh, please tell me!

NARRATOR I will tell you, my little blossom, but on one condition.

MARJORIE Yes, Grandpa.

NARRATOR You must promise to stop crying.

MARJORIE I promise!

NARRATOR Well, now, let me see - ah yes, yes - once upon a time there lived a girl called Tatters.  Her mother had died when she was young and her father had recently remarried.  His new wife Isabella What-a-hag (pause - follow spot on her on stage), and her two ugly daughters, Bruce and Ralph (pause - follow spot on them on stage), had banished Tatters from her lovely room to a small bare attic and had put her to task cooking and cleaning all day long.

MARJORIE How awful, Grandpa!

NARRATOR It only gets worse from here.  You see, Bruce and Ralph delighted in teasing poor little Tatters relentlessly (lights fade on Narrator and cross to scene which enacts narration)  They pulled her hair.  They called her names.  They even went so low as to kick her only friend, Kitty. (Sound effects - meow)  All in all, they were the most horrible nasty stepsisters you could ever wish for.

MARJORIE Oh, Grandpa, was there any hope for poor Tatters?

NARRATOR Forlorn little Tatters didn't think so, but it came to pass that an internationally renown Rock Group, 'Prince Chunder and the Bad Boys', were coming to play at the local town hall.  All the girls of Wobblestone were frantic over the idea that the very charming - in a piggish sort of way - the very handsome and the very available Prince Chunder would be visiting their home town.  Rumour had spread that he had chosen Wobblestone to come in search for a wife.

BRUCE & RALPH (jumping up and down in delight)  He's coming, he's coming!  Prince Chunder is coming!

TATTERS (looking up from her chores) Prince Chunder? In Wobblestone?  I can't believe it!

BRUCE & RALPH Well, you better believe it, Dog-breath, because we're going and you're not (laughing etc.)

TATTERS Why not? Why can't I go?

ISABELLA (enters smugly pretending at first to take Tatters' side, but winking at daughters) Of course you can go my dear.  All the single girls are invited - even ones as ugly as you!  However before you go, you must complete a few tasks around the home.  Here, I've written you a list. (hands Tatters a very long list)

MARJORIE (almost hysterical)  Oh no, Grandpa, I thought you were telling me this story to cheer me up - but I can't bear it - it's just too cruel!!

NARRATOR Stop that blubbering - it's only a story after all.  Now should I continue, or are you determined to ruin my concentration with all this sobbing?

MARJORIE Sorry - so sorry.  Please go on.

NARRATOR Very well then.  Where was I?  Ah yes - the night of the concert had arrived and Tatters watched forlornly as her stepsisters left giggling and jeering off to the concert.

(TATTERS wandering mournfully, muttering.  Sound effects - knock knock.  Enter bored-looking FAIRY GODPERSON - annoyed type.)

FAIRY GODPERSON Are you Tatters Smith?

TATTERS Yes!  Who are you?

FAIRY GODPERSON I'm your Fairy Godperson, Pea-Brain.

TATTERS Oh really, shall I fetch a pumpkin and some mice and...

FAIRY GODPERSON Oh shut up blathering will you - you're my sixth customer tonight and if I see one more mouse, I'll blast it.  I'm due for my tea-break, so we'll just have to make do with my bag o'tricks (revealing untidy plain-looking bag)  By the way, what's your gripe?  I forgot to check my fax before teleporting.

TATTERS Well, you see, the most gorgeous singer in the world is coming here tonight and everyone is invited - even losers like me - but I can't go as I have nothing to wear and no way to get there.  I should just forget it - he wouldn't even look at someone as stupid and boring as me, but if only I could.

FAIRY GODPERSON Alright, alright enough of the pity party before I puke!  Here give us a fifty.

TATTERS But...

FAIRY GODPERSON Don't argue just a tip for the Benevolent Fairy Godperson's Fund. (wink wink)

TATTERS O.K.

FAIRY GODPERSON That was easy, now let me see (thinking)
Hocus pocus
Narly narly
To the concert
On a harley.

TATTERS (Somehow a Harley Davidson appears!!)  Oh wow!

FAIRY GODPERSON Right then, I'm off.

TATTERS Hang on, what about my clothes?

FAIRY GODPERSON Silly girl. What you're wearing's all the rage.  Anyway, what ya expect for a measly fifty.  See ya. (Exits)

(TATTERS climbs sadly on the Harley and roars off)

MARJORIE (all excited)  Oh, I knew it, I knew it!

NARRATOR Well then, you also know Miss Smarty-pants, that she finally arrived at the concert and slowly entered.  She was completely awestruck, as she saw her gorgeous idol singing on stage, but as she looked around her heart fell, and she wondered why she'd been so foolish to even come.  All around her were the coolest, most gorgeous girls and she felt small and ugly.  Slowly, she shrunk towards the back, hoping that no one would notice her, when all of a sudden, the music stopped and Prince Chunder told his screaming fans to shut up.

PRINCE CHUNDER Shut up!

NARRATOR The crowd fell silent, wondering what was going on, when all of a sudden, Prince Chunder ordered the spot light to the back of the hall, where it fell on Tatters.  Prince Chunder was mesmerized as he gazed upon her, and Tatters cringed as she saw hundreds of spiteful eyes glaring at her.  But as she lifted her head, she saw the Prince's gaze lovingly upon her.  He pushed through the crowd, girls crying as they realized he'd found his match, and took Tatter's hand.  He fell to his knees and said, "Marry me?" Tatter's heart nearly burst, and as she said, "Yes," she saw her ugly stepsisters nearly spewing at Tatters' lucky break.  All of her past life was over - she was free!  The Prince and she were married and lived happily ever after.

MARJORIE That's wonderful, Grandpa, but what about me?

NARRATOR Well, Marjorie, it's not always what other people say, or how you see yourself that's the truth.  Sometimes what it takes is one special person to see the real you and love you, so that one day you begin to see the true value of yourself.  The important thing is - never give up hope!

MARJORIE Thanks Grandpa!  (Pause.)  Grandpa?  Did you ever feel like me when you were young?

NARRATOR Oh yes, a little.  I'll tell you who really could've sympathized with you, though.

MARJORIE Who?

NARRATOR Your Grandma - God rest her soul. You see, your Grandma's first name - the one she never told anyone, was ... Tatters!

MARJORIE You mean YOU were Prince Chunder? - Rock 'n Roll, screaming fans - are you for real?

(NARRATOR winks, yawns and goes back to reading paper)