VAGRANT
POLICE OFFICER
GREENIE
OLDER WOMAN
MAN OF THE CLOTH

(VAGRANT snoring on park bench, covered in newspapers, oblivious to surroundings.  GREENIE, OLDER WOMAN and MAN OF THE CLOTH enter, talking amongst themselves - see VAGRANT and decide he's as good a cause as any to protest.)

GREENIE Whoa -  look, here's a cause if ever I've seen one.

OLDER WOMAN I thought we were going to protest against whale slaughter?  What about the signs we've written?

GREENIE Show me what you've got - we'll just change them.

MAN OF CLOTH I've brought a nikko - I say, what exactly are we going to protest about?  (Lifts newspaper off VAGRANT)  'The Wholesale Degradation of Rainforests?'

GREENIE No, no, can't you see (steps back and gestures to VAGRANT dramatically) Freedom From Poverty!

(OLDER WOMAN and MAN OF THE CLOTH nod heads in agreement, obviously pleased with the concept.  They proceed to change the slogans on their signs.  They then begin to march around VAGRANT chanting slogans.  Enter POLICE OFFICER.)

OFFICER Righto, what's all this 'ere then - 'aving a little protest are we?  What's all the fuss about this time?

OLDER WOMAN Isn't it obvious?  Have you no social conscience at all?  Read...  (Points to slogans)

OFFICER Of course, I've a social conscience, Madam, that is why I'm here to arrest this fellow for vagrancy.

MAN OF CLOTH You can't do that - this poor man has no choice but to sleep here.

GREENIE Yeah, go and find someone more fortunate to harass.

OFFICER I'm just doing my job - we've all got to follow the law, you know, rich or poor.  (Goes to VAGRANT)

MAN OF CLOTH Officer, please, this poor man is a victim of society.  He needs help not hindrance.

OFFICER (sarcastically)  Needs help, does he?  Is that what you lot are doin', helpin' 'im?

OLDER WOMAN (offended)  Why yes!  We go around protesting different causes to pierce the conscience of society.  We believe that people need to be confronted by the very ugly truths that are the by-products of fast-food mentalities and greedy, materialistic, self-serving, money-grubbing, fascist pigs (Almost at screaming pitch - stops.  After looking embarrassed, calms down and starts to speak)  Oh, excuse me, I get very passionate about these things.  What I'm trying to say is that we are trying to stir our society out of its apathy and begin to take responsibility.

MAN OF CLOTH (cuts in)  Yes yes, don't you see, we're all responsible for this poor fellow's plight.  We all must pitch in and, um, er, fight the good fight or something like that.

OFFICER Let me get this straight, then.  This man is a victim - of society, right? (All nod and say yes etc.)  And would you consider yourselves a part of this society of which you're speaking?  (All yes, yes...)  So are you sayin' that society is perhaps to blame?  (All yes yes, now you've got it, ...)  Well, then, if 'es the victim and you're a part of this so-called society to blame, you're all under arrest!!  (All protest and carry on.  Officer herds them offstage under arrest.)

VAGRANT (sits up, shakes head, puts paper together and folds it up, straightens tie and looks at watch.)  Oh my goodness, I'm late for work!  That's the last time I take lunch in this park!