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THE QUALITY OF LIFE
SCENE 1
Two friends JOHN and JIM meet up.
JOHN Gidday Jim!
JIM Hey John, I haven't seen you for a while, man! What've you been up to?
JOHN Oh, the usual. Work's as good as ever. Playing a bit of golf on the weekend.
JIM How's your wife, Suzy, and the kids?
JOHN Suzy's great! And the kids are goin' on strong. Actually, Suzy and I are getting divorced on Saturday.
JIM What? Oh, that's too bad.
JOHN What do you mean? Didn't I give you an invitation? The ceremony's being held at the District Court, and then we're having the reception at the Sheraton. Should be a great time!
JIM You mean you're celebrating it?
JOHN Yeah. Why not?! We've had a good innings. All good marriages come to an end. That's the way it is today... May as well make something of it. Why don't you come along? We'd love to share our joy with you!
JIM Well, I guess I could come.
JOHN Great...Courthouse, 2nd floor, 2 o'clock. Don't miss the "Divorce March." The kids are flower girls. And the breaking of the vows should be really moving. See you there…
SCENE 2
HUSBAND and WIFE watching TV together.
HUSBAND Let's see what's on the news tonight, Darling. (click)
TV VOICE In the headlines tonight...2 million people are on death's door in famine-stricken Uganda, a Boeing 747 has crashed in the heart of the city of Brisbane, killing an estimated 500 people, Iran has sent shock waves around the world with its bombing of Tel Aviv, the dollar has crashed in Wall Street, and the telecast of the Australia vs. England Rugby League Test will be delayed by 30 minutes.
HUSBAND 30 minutes!!! How can they do this to us?!!
WIFE Oh, what's the world coming to, when you can't see a footy match live anymore?!!
HUSBAND You never hear any good news on TV these days! (click) 30 lousy minutes.
SCENE 3
MOTHER and DAUGHTER talking about the senior formal.
MOTHER So are you ready for the big night, Darling? You look absolutely stunning!
DAUGHTER I've been waiting all year for the Senior Formal, Mum. I'm a bit nervous.
MOTHER Have you got everything you need?
DAUGHTER Yes, I think so. Hmm... I've got my purse and my ticket...
MOTHER What about condoms? Dad should have some left over from his last business trip.
DAUGHTER Oh, thanks, Mum, I'll go and get them on my way out.
MOTHER Oh, and Honey, I've got a little surprise for you. It's a new designer drug out that's worth a try... it'll give you a real kick... should impress all the guys!
DAUGHTER Oh, Mum, you're so thoughtful!
MOTHER Have a lovely time, Dear. And do be careful. You know what it's like these days. They're doing a lot of Random Breath Testing on Sturt Street. You should be right if you take the back streets.
DAUGHTER OK! Bye Mum.
MOTHER Bye Darling...Don't be home later than Monday now! And do take care! (Blows kisses)
SCENE 4
SAMUEL SMILE-A-LOT TV show host
WILFRED WORK-YA-BUTT-OFF guest
SAMUEL Hi! And welcome back to the "Quality of Life Show". I'm Samuel Smile-a-lot, and we've been talking to some people who have really learnt what life is all about. Our next guest is Wilfred Work-ya-butt-off. Wilfred is 38 years old, an advertising consultant, and let me tell you Ladies and Gentlemen, when it comes to life style, Wilfred is an expert. But I won't tell you anymore... let's welcome the man himself. Wilfred Workyabutoff, come on down! ("Simply The Best" music) So Wilfred - do you mind if I call you Will? Tell us about yourself...
WILL Well Samuel, I'm currently a senior consultant for the Jones and Jones Advertising Agency. I earn a cool $115 000 a year, not to mention an extra $60 000 or so in investments.
SAMUEL That's very impressive, Will, but you didn't get where you are today overnight. It took guts and commitment, didn't it?
WILL That's right, Samuel. I'm proud to say I've worked 90 hours a week for the last 15 years. It wasn't all easy, but the rewards make it worthwhile. I've reached some personal landmarks over the last few years. My wife and kid left me, I've contracted a stomach ulcer, and my doctor has just informed me I may be developing a stress-related heart disease. Of course, the money is a side benefit. ...So things are looking up!
SAMUEL Well, all I can say is... what a lucky guy! Who couldn't want that kind of a lifestyle? And to all you viewers out there, we sincerely hope you've gained some valuable information from these excellent role models of society. After all that's what we're here for...to show you exactly how you can have a better "Quality of Life". Aim high ... see you next week!
BLACKOUT
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