By Peter Hallett
Published November 14, 1995
Flowers by the roadside. Disturbing headlines in a newspaper. Graphic pictures on the evening news. These are all modern markers of human tragedy.
Too often we encounter shocking, even unbelievable situations of accident, crime or war in which human life is taken.
For others it is the tragedy of broken relationships, abused trust, failed expectations or the loss of health that brings grief.
Successfully dealing with the "death experiences" of life is one of the most challenging, yet must important things we will ever do.
I had to face this issue for myself last year when my younger sister was murdered in Newcastle. A personal tragedy and shock of this type shakes you to the very core.
I discovered the awesome tide of grief as never before. I also felt emotion more deeply than I realised I was capable of.
In the midst of this, you may assume that my faith and trust in God would be sorely tested. And yet I saw God’s hand at work unmistakably through the whole terrible experience. The grief was still there, the horror, and many other feelings but deep down without even needing to focus on it, I knew God was with us.
It took many months to work through but as is so often the case when we go through tough times, if we doggedly choose life we ultimately become stronger, deeper more real people than we were.
The loss of a loved one still hurts, but alongside is a new strength, peace and depth.
My experience taught me that grief is such a powerful force, it would be quite possible to ride its waves for the rest of your life, allowing it to colour all that is yet to come. I have seen people doing this and it can be very damaging to their peace of mind and joy of living.
What I discovered was that in the grieving process, a day will come when you know you must embrace life again. It’s a choice and if you don’t make it, the grief will roll over you once again.
Jesus, in preparing His followers for His death, said "...unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies it produces many seeds."
Jesus knew that we all encounter "death experiences" of one sort or another which seem to have victory over us and yet in the most mysterious way, life springs from these very things - especially if we embrace His strength and grace.
If you want to read more about Coping with Grief in this week’s fact sheet, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Faith to Faith, The Chronicle, PO Box 7155, Canberra Mail Centre, 2610, or visit the Faith to Faith website. I’ll also list details of some groups and counsellors who could help you.
WISDOM’S WAYS: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me..." Psalm 23:4