Do You Feel Like A Failure?


by Darin Browne



No matter who you are, or what you do, everybody at some time feels the sting of failure. In a world that seems to only ever have time for success, which seems to strive and reach constantly for success, how do you handle the inevitable failures?

As I pause and look at my own life, I can see some measure of success. I have known success in business, my profession and my ministry. I have a lovely wife, and three beautiful daughters. I have a lovely home, and live in what I consider to be the greatest country on earth. Yet with so much success, why do I sometimes feel an overwhelming sense of failure?

The Measure of Success and Failure.

Part of the problem is that I have, like most people, a warped view of success. It is the world's view, and while it is not always bad, it is also not always God's view.

How do you measure success? Our first thoughts are some standard of "greatness", such as "Australia's greatest preacher" or "the best guitarist in the church". The question is, where do such measures come from?

If you stop and look closely, you will see that these standards all come from the world. Success in business, ministry and giftings, in our eyes, is based on comparing ourselves with others who are less successful. We judge by what we see, but God judges the heart. Paul talks of , "those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart." -- 2 Corinthians 5:12

Does this mean that God does not want us to be a success? By no means! He promises us, "meditate on it (the Word of God) day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." -- Joshua 1:8. He wants us to be successful, even in the eyes of the rest of the world, but the trap is that we cannot, indeed must not, take our identity from our success.

People strive for success because it gives them a sense of identity. That is why failure, in any form, is so hard to tolerate, and often immediately depresses us.

Failure is probably defined as not reaching the success we aimed for, but we have a scale or hierachy by which we rate the failure (or success). To fail to beat your friend at tennis does not affect you as much as going bankrupt, or losing your wife and family in a divorce.

The Depression Limbo

Failure pushes us into "the depression limbo", and instead of seeing what God can make of our failures, or figuring out why we failed in the first place, we often are content to play the limbo, bending over backwards under the weight of our failures. As we wallow in the mire, we sometimes try to see just "how low we can go" without totally collapsing on the ground. Big failures cause big depression, and God understands that, but for Him to rescue us we need to look up towards His waiting hand.

The Failure Hammer... Who is Using It?

Failure hurts, doesn't it? It affects how we view ourselves. We cannot always avoid failing, but we can chose how we react to it. Failure is like a hammer. It can knock down, or it can build up. It can either be a tool for Satan, or a tool to shape our lives for good, in the hands of a mighty God.

Satan, using the standards of the world, can use failure to crush us and break us, so that we hate ourselves and our lives. Some of you reading this will feel this way right now. If you do, you're in good company! David, King of Israel, often felt his failure deeply, as did Peter when he betrayed Jesus. Satan uses failure to sap the life and energy of people, including Christians. Some leave the faith, some commit suicide, and others just remain stunted and useless for the Lord, afraid to step out for Him in case they fail again. He is prowling lion (1 Peter 5:8), and will use failure as a means of devouring you!

But God, too, can pick up the hammer of failure, and use it in a different way, to His glory. You see, failure can be His way of disciplining us,,,, and shaping our character. Some believe that God will never let them suffer, but quite frankly they don't really know God. He is more interested in building character in us that giving us a good, comfortable life!

Failure is Learning

From my work among children with learning disorders, I have seen clearly that, in order to learn, we must fail! That's right, MUST! You learn little from your successes, but when you fail, try again, and then succeed, you have learned. Thomas Edison, just before he invented the light globe, was questioned about his over 900(?) attempts and he said, "well, I know 900 ways how not to invent the light globe."

God's Measure

The true measure of success or failure is our relationship to the Lord. You can be Mr. Bigshot in business, or the best singer anywhere, but still be a failure in life (take Janice Joplin or Howard Hughes for example). God is most interested in how you love Him, not what you can do or be, or even what you can do to serve Him. We have to understand that our identity lies in who we are in the Lord, not what we can achieve. Don't be a whitewashed tomb!

He formed us, and He wants the very best for us (Jer 29:11). Real success is really knowing Him. As Paul says, "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection." -- Philippians 3:10. Knowing the Lord intimately can make up for any failure, anywhere in your life, and really knowing Him closely will leads to all knids of success beyond your wildest dreams. That's neat, Lord, because I can dream big!

Fly or Wallow... Your Choice!

Most of us know and love the passage, "those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -- Isaiah 40:31. the word "hope" means "wait expectantly" in the Hebrew, and that I believe is the way to use any seeming failure for good ("And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." -- Romans 8:28). If your sense of self worth is really found in Jesus, then wait, and seek to know Him more. He promises, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -- Jeremiah 29:13.

If you are struggling with failure, consider taking these steps with me.

1. Confess and repent of any sin associated with the failures, including hurts and bitterness you have harboured over the reactions of others.
2. Cry out to the Lord, and tell Him of your hurts, failures, and sense of worthlessness. Be humble, be open and be honest. It may be useful to write them down.
3. Recognize that He created you ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."" -- Jeremiah 1:5), and has a special destiny for your life. Ask Him to use these failures to His glory in your life. say, "Lord, use them to make me more like Your Son, Jesus."
4. Destroy the list, and put the failure behind you. Paul says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." -- Philippians 4:13, so begin to believe again God's promises to you. It is a scriptural principle that if you are obedient He will give you success. Real success is really knowing the Lord.



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